Does any of this sound like you?
• I’d like to achieve even greater success levels in work and relationships
• I want to become more productive, to procrastinate less, to make smarter use of my time and to consistently meet/exceed my targets
• I’d like to enhance my leadership skills, to improve my communication style, to read people more efficiently and to become more emotionally intelligent
• I’d like to be more decisive
• Work takes up most of your life and you constantly feel like you are chasing your tail
• The joy has gone out of your life and you feel like you have lost your spark
• You can’t remember the last time you took a day off
• Been too busy is something you perceive as a sign of success or of a flourishing career
• Days are so crammed full that you literally dread even starting them
• You’ve recently noticed that you are consistently more tired when you get up in the morning than you are when you go to bed
• You wish you didn’t feel too tired or busy to enjoy your family or social life
It doesn’t help either that this fast paced, quick fix, target-driven, celebrity and social media obsessed Society we currently live in is remarkably effective at brainwashing people into believing they should look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain someone, when in reality every single one of us is different.
Society pigeonholes people and wants you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle.
Well the good news is you are not alone in this, we all feel at least one of these things sometimes…
This was often the case for me too in my high flying corporate days in the HR Directorate in London over a decade ago.
You’re feeling a bit tense with a tightness in your chest or butterflies in your stomach. You search your mind for the reason why and before you know it has reached a number of conclusions:
• an incident at the office a few days ago
• a tricky chat with a loved one
• or a looming unreaslistic deadline at work.Suddenly, you begin to feel totally overwhelmed and stressed, paralysed to do anything because you’re caught in the middle of a viscous circle of negative automatic thinking patterns………
Do you know why this happens?
It’s a phenomenon called “negativity bias,” a name coined by Psychologists, describing our human tendency to be much more likely to be influenced by and to recall negative experiences, instead of neutral or positive experiences.
So instead of giving yourself a hard time, be kind and compassionate, reassuring yourself that you’re pretty normal and not alone in this very common dilemma.
• We recall negative feedback more than we remember praise.
• Unpleasant events tend to be more memorable than pleasant ones.
• The brain is programmed to be vigilant and wary.
• The brain reacts more strongly to negative stimuli than to positive stimuli.
Studies indicate that there’s a greater flow in electrical activity in the brain when we visualise a negative image such as a dead cat than when we witness something positive like a glass of prosecco or yummy lemon cheesecake.
For those of you who are unfamiliar, Neuroscience is the study of how the nervous system develops, its structure, and what it does. Neuroscientists focus primarily on the brain and its impact on behavior and cognitive functions.
• intricate enough to coordinate the fingers of a classical violinist
• or logical enough to introduce the laws and theories of gravity.
The right hemisphere is generally associated with creativity, communicating emotion, analysis of nonverbal information and the control of the left side of the body, temporal and spatial relationships.
Whereas, the left hemisphere is usually identified with logic abilities, casual relationships, sequential thinking, controlling the right side of the body and producing/understanding language and complexities.
cingulate gyrus, hypothalamus, hippocampus, thalamus and amygdala.
It is the site of: emotional states and behaviour; the bridge between the conscious and subconscious brain and short term memory/ information storage, especially short term recognition of facts, objects, people etc.
The amygdala, the brain’s alarm system is located in the limbic system. Its key function is to call you to attention, and in an emergency, to mobilise or shut-down your body and mind so that you’ll survive.
Sadly though, this alarm rings automatically and unnecessarily often incorrectly informing you that you are experiencing a flight or fight situation when the actual reality is that you are not and the alarm is just being over cautious.
When our amygdala misinterprets a bodily sensation such as sinking stomach to be a message of despair and pessimism, it has exactly the wrong result, reducing rather than enhancing our attention and alertness.
How can you tame your amygdala then?
Having studied this topic for many years now, by far the most comprehensive, informative book about neuroscience and the emotional brain I have read so far is the Chimp Paradox by Professor Stephen Peters.
As Coach of the Great Britain Cycling Team, and many business leaders, Peters developed a highly successful mind management programme using the term “Chimp Brain” as its premise.
Peters asserts that “Chimp Brain” is an emotional part of our brain designed by evolution to support our survival.
Specifically, it is the area of the brain which activates the fight-or-flight response, hyperarousal, hypervigilance or the acute stress response, physiological reactions that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event or threat to our survival.
As it is fundamently concerned with two main instincts:
(1) survival and (ii) procreation
For example: sexual reproduction, hunger, thirst and protection of our territory.
The “Chimp” automatically jumps to opinions in the absence of concrete facts and may be paranoid, periodically resulting in catastrophic and irrational behaviour.
According to Professor Peters, the Chimp works on impressions, perceptions and interpretations, not facts and responds up to fives times faster than our rational brain.
Two other terms are also used by Peters, the Human Brain and the Computer.
This Peters describes as the logical, rational part of the brain highly effective at considering all the available facts and evidence and subsequently reaching careful and deliberate conclusions using cognition. It’s also where our highest values of humanity reside and it works five times more slowly than the chimp.
This is a storage centre of retained experiences jammed full of automatic habits and responses, some positive, some negative. Above all though, when processing what is happening to us, both our Human and Chimp refer to the Computer to seek associations and similar experiences. The Computer brain operates twenty times faster than our Human.
When I was lecturing on a counselling course a few years ago one of my students began to cry. We explored together why this might be the case and arrived at these conclusions:
As I was looking up (a habit I have adopted whilst thinking) my student’s computer brain had misinterpreted my “looking up” facial expression to be identical to that of her Mum’s facial expression when she was just about to get cross with my student.
Peters argues that before taking any action, we firstly need to recognise these three powerful structures: chimp, human and computer brain are continually operating in our mind. Furthermore, if we do not acknowledge this we will be perpetually running to catch up with ourselves and be more likely to experience a chimp or computer brain hijack.
Remind yourself though you can’t stop your thoughts, feelings or physical sensations, you can take charge of what happens next. You can consciously step back, pause, breathe and firstly remind yourself thoughts aren’t facts and that you are probably in chimp mode also you can choose to observe your negative thoughts rather than responding to them immediately. Put simply, speak nicely and slowly to your chimp so that it will feel comfortable enough to allow you to shift into logical, rational human brain mode.
1. Acknowledge that we as Human beings developed a negativity bias, that is, we evolved to notice and respond more forcibly to the negative, since that helped our ancestors to stay alive. Thousands and thousands of years ago, it was more important for cavemen to escape negative situations than it was to approach opportunity.
In other words, our ancestors wouldn’t even have stopped to analyse the situation. As soon as they noticed the slight rustle, like animals of prey, our ancestors would have simply fled for their lifes.
2. As it’s your “Chimp” it will respond sometimes when you are angry, stressed or perceive any kind of threat, physical or psychological, and it moves much more quickly than the Human part of your brain so is likely embarrass you with its responses. It might shout and rage, be rude and angry or violent.
3. Observe Chimp-like responses, these are easy to spot, they are responses which when you reflect later aren’t ones you’re proud of. They are likely the ones that if you had your time again you’d do differently, or they are the responses that you might, with the benefit of hindsight, think you need to apologise for.
4. Be aware that everyone has a Chimp and managing it is an everyday challenge, when we’re tired or stressed our Chimp becomes more difficult to control and can overwhelm us more easily. Observe other people’s responses, you can see Chimp behaviour everywhere.
5. Having become aware of your Chimp, you can work on taming it and rather than ignoring the Chimp’s instinctive and rapid reaction, just allow it to have its say. Then, consciously step back, pause, breathe and allow yourself more thinking time to work out a better, more considered Human response.
6. We can use the Computer part of our brain, our automated habits, to put in responses faster than the Chimp can react. This takes time and practice, but if we make a conscious effort to put in a different response to the impulsive Chimp one, we can develop what Peters calls an Autopilot, which is a script or response that overrides the unhelpful Chimp response before it can be enacted.
When you experience a negative thought, feeling or physical sensation, breathe, pause, step back then ask yourself the following question:
“what do I know?”
“I know that if I allow my negative thoughts to take over it is not healthy for me and leaves me feeling anxious, I also know that though I can’t stop my thoughts, feelings or physical sensations, I can change what happens next, such as, consciously deciding to stop myself from catastrophising or getting too attached to my thoughts.”
“I know that thoughts aren’t facts”
Following your attempts at implementing the above strategy, record on a piece of paper the process of what happens when you try this technique and the automatic negative thoughts that stop you from supporting yourself.
Understanding how your brain became so vigilant and wary, and so easily hijacked by alarm, is the first step toward gaining more control over that ancient circuitry.
Then, by bringing mindful awareness to how your brain reacts to feeling threatened, you can stimulate and therefore build up the neural substrates of a mind that has more calm, wisdom and sense of inner strength.
A mind that sees real threats more clearly, acts more effectively in dealing with them, and is less rattled or distracted by exaggerated, manageable, or false alarms.
Also If you have any enquiries or questions then please do email me or call me on